Originally published on 12/16/13 on Blogger
I have dealt with many issues surround my daughter’s mother. So many that I am reticent to mention them in such a public setting, but for months now something inside me has percolated relating to dealing with this matter. Over the course of my child’s life I have gone through periods where I was not allowed to pick her up at my assigned times. Needless to say, this was heart wrenching, especially when my daughter was an iddy bitty thing. I would sit around and cry wondering why I was experiencing that, feeling lost and sorry for myself because I was denied my child. On occasion I would briefly get mad at my ex, wondering why someone could treat me in that way when I was never abusive to her or my child when we were together years back.
I would be frustrated to no end and would inevitably wind up feeling frustrated and helpless. To be honest my ex would, after some time, allow me to pick up my daughter. Sometimes I wouldn’t be able to see her for 4 months, 6 months, 8 months, and I even went a year without being able to pick up my daughter. This forced me to become crafty in how I saw my kid whereby I would have to see my kid at her daycare or at her school. There were of course times when I got angry, albeit for a short time. That anger was intense and focused on my ex. Now fortunately I don’t stay mad very long, but I still harbored resentment against that person for how she treated me and my daughter.
So many people around me would get angry for me when they heard about what I had dealt with in regards to my ex. You don’t know how many F bombs and curse words I have heard from people who got mad for me. But, at some point in time I decided that I needed to forgive her for everything that she had done. I think this was a result of my spiritual growth because the Word of God tells us to forgive others, about the importance of forgiving and the power of the God kind of love. We see evidence of this in the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew or in Matthew 6:14. There is great power in forgiving as it allows you to operate from a standpoint of emotional and spiritual freedom. In my case, my daughter sees how a person can walk in love and not hate, in a way that empowers her to be a whole and healthy person. Now to be honest forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting or allowing yourself to be walked on but it does mean that you live out life in a healthier, more God centered manner. Consequently, you live life better and show others how to walk out the God in them, which is what the great book tells us to do.
I have found that each time I forgive this person I walk more in alignment with the Word. Forgiving in and of itself requires us to walk out that part of our spirit that is submitted to the Father. In forgiving others we also mature in our walk of faith and in our overall growth as a person, which is a wonderful thing. Forgiveness is not something many people readily do, but if you do it will benefit you, grow you, and be a blessing to your family and friends. Deciding to forgive is a choice, one that will empower you, help you live without fear or hate, one that channels the nature of The Father.
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