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  • kennardhwright

Pray for Your Ex

Originally published on Blogger on 12/24/12

In society today there are many children of divorced parents. Too many of us either make bad choices for mates or simply decide we no longer want to work with that person and leave the relationship. This leaves many children with parents in two households, often with parents leading two different kinds of lives, and seeing two examples of how to live as a result. The subsequent acrimony between the two parents often makes it hard on the children and difficult for the parents to work together as a parenting team.

Hurt leads to anger and anger to distrust and distrust leads to poor communication. I know I have seen my share of this but always stayed committed to being there for my daughter and towards helping her mother when she was ready to co-parent. Because of physical proximity one parent tends to take the lead on matters but a team still exists. Even so, exes often bad mouth and undermine each other, which in turns does nothing to help the kids grow up to be healthy adults.

Most of us will complain that the other parent needs to do this or that, that they are crazy or irresponsible, that they have too many people around the child. Of course any one of these may be true but this is when the parent must focus on what they can do, what influence they have on their child, and not what is wrong with the other parent.

There was a time when I didn't see my daughter, outside of lunch at school, for a year. This was a direct result of a decision on the part of her mother, but I digress. Now that was very hard because I so love her but I realized that even with only 15 or 20 minutes with her in a lunchroom (once a week), with a bunch of kiddos around I had SO MUCH influence over her. So I learned not to sweat the fact that I didn't have her 24/7 but that as her parent and father I was able to influence her life. Today, I talk to her and of course see her but I know that my presence in her life will greatly affect who and what she chooses to become. I work hard not to bad mouth her mother because that serves little value other than to make me feel good.

I also learned a more important truth. After having a problem with my ex the Holy Spirit prompted me to pray for her. I prayed my ex heard the Holy Spirit, knew God more fully, was the woman He wanted her to be, completed the purpose He placed in her, was the best mom she could be, and sometimes I tried to remember to pray she had the desires of her heart. I realized praying for her was the best thing I could ever do for her to be the best person she could be, and that decreeing the Word over her was a powerful thing I could do for my daughter. I don't try and do much to convince to do what I want because that is trying to control her but speaking the Word is about God influencing her life, which is far better than my influence.

So the next time you think of how your ex is an a**h*le or a jerk stop and cover them in prayer. Decree God has His hand on their life. As a believer we know there is power in our words, life and death in the tongue, so speak life to your ex. Speak peace, speak joy, speak purpose because these things will bless your children and your family for generations to come.

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